Living
by deeplyshallow
Summary: "But Fiyero, how can you even call that living?" She demanded passionately, "What is the point of life if you don't have something to strive towards? To fight for? To give up everything for? And, if it is necessary, to die for?" Fiyeraba


**Yes I'm sorry, I've been slacking, having a life sucks (no matter what this fic says). But I just needed to get back and write something. **

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A derisive snort.

He looked up, annoyed at being interrupted mid-story, "Haven't you got something better to do, like moping in your room with that book or whatever else people don't know the definition of fun do?"

She raised her eyebrows, " Given you've got your own exams in two weeks and you haven't opened your textbooks all year I would have thought you would be doing the same instead of getting 'wasted' and embarrassing yourself at some stupid party."

He looked at her idly, tipping back on his chair, "What's the point? I already know where my life is going. I'll be King of the Vinkus someday whether I'm educated or not."

"But what is the use of being King if you don't know anything?"

He smirked, "Oh I don't know, the oodles of cash maybe? Or the adoration, or the power, or a beautiful queen…" his eyes flicked to Galinda who giggled. Elphaba resisted the urge to roll her eyes at how easily her friend was taking in with his cheesy lines, how could she not see past his (admittedly not completely unattractive) looks? But, unable to lose an argument once it had started, she continued, "But how will you help your people?"

He shrugged, "Been perfectly fine without me so far haven't they? Anyway, they do most of the ruling up in the Emerald City, all I need to do is sit back and look pretty – something I find myself very good at."

Elphaba sighed, frustrated, "But why would you possibly want to do that? Don't you want to help them? To represent their best interests? To…"

"Elphie," he grinned in satisfaction at the frown he gained in response to the use of her nickname, "You need to chill out. I suggest you follow my philosophy for a while, it would calm you down a little if you just danced through life…"

"But Fiyero, how can you even call that living?" She demanded passionately, "What is the point of life if you don't have something to strive towards? To fight for? To give up everything for? And, if it is necessary, to die for?"

"To die for?" he scoffed, "I prefer to be lifeless and unsuicidal in that case…" She was talking rubbish, no matter how attractive she looked when she was passionate, he decided.

Yet, somehow, the words stuck.

**To Fight For**

He wouldn't have believed it mere months ago but now he had been counting the days until her return. He'd actually planned what he was going to do and everything! Admittedly it wasn't the most flawless plan in the history of Oz. Possible consequences included death by Glinda, death by Elphaba, death by Boq, mysteriously disappearing never to be found again, waking up realising he was dreaming and still having to do it and, worst of all, castration.

But he was going to do it anyway because, for the first time in his life, it was something he felt he needed to do. It was something that felt right.

Apparently the long list of potential consequences hadn't quite covered everything. Namely Elphaba not coming back and his girlfriend clinging to him like a limpet. Not that he blamed her, not really, her needed someone to cling to too once he found out what happened. The thought of Elphaba alone and hunted chilled him to the core. He hoped, desperately, that she remained safe. There were days where he wished she had just agreed to the Wizard, made everything easier for herself and him. But he knew she never would, she would do anything to fight for her cause – it was her way of living.

Perhaps that was what he loved her for.

**To Strive Towards**

Monotony. Hope. Despair. Resolution. The only emotions he really felt anymore. Nothing seemed to matter in those endless days of searching and facades than finding her. His interactions with humans were just lie after elaborate lie. The deeds he was forced to commit under the Gale Force he were sure would haunt him for the rest of his life.

But it didn't matter, nothing did really anymore, except the knowledge that another day had passed without her capture, that he could return to his lurid dreams of her – as long as they were not nightmares – and that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow he would find her. To anything else he was dead.

Of course Elphaba would call it living.

**To Give Up Everything For**

"Fiyero have you misplaced your mind? What are you doing?"

Through the haze of reconciliation, pain, confusion, joy, betrayal and desire that was streaming through the room in all directions all he could see were two girls, two choices, one decision that he knew would change everything.

One way would be so easy, so safe, the other… the other…

"I'm going with her."

He could still sense her shock as the rushed through the corridors of the Emerald Palace, as they entered the Palace Grounds and she gestured frantically for him to climb behind her on her broom. But it was only after they were high in the air, for from the city, that she spoke.

"You know you can never go back now?"

"I know," he said quietly, "I'm not really stupid," he added with a smirk.

She turned to face him with a trace of a smile on her lips, but it instantly turned to a look of confusion, even frustration, "But, Fiyero, why? You could do anything, you had everything."

"Don't you understand?" He replied grinning softly, he looked at all of Oz whizzing past his feet, felt the breeze rush across his face. He gripped the waist of the woman… the woman he loved, a little tighter and was content. For the first time everything made sense. For the first time everything was right, "This Elphaba, this is living."

**To Die For**

The pain was unbearable, as each blow hit him he prayed for the end, he wished for it to be over. This was the price for his silence, the price for his betrayal, the price for his love, he'd known that for a while now.

Through the endless agony he pulled up the only defence he had left, he thought about her, he suffered so she didn't have to, so she was safe. For so many years now she had been his life. In his own way he had fought for her, he'd striven for years to find her and when he had he'd given up everything for her and now, now it was necessary, without a second thought he would die for her.

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**Yes, I could have ended this on the happy bit… but yay angst!**


End file.
